MAY 2010, WHITEHALL:
Coalition Minister: "Hooray! Somehow we've managed to get a massive mandate to dismantle just about everything without even winning the General Election. Right, first up, Free Schools... who wants to start one?"
Senior civil servant: "I have a few submissions of interest here".
Submission 1
"I really, genuinely respect and admire the... erm, diversity of my local state school. I know it's got good facilities, teaching has been ranked very highly, results are above average but it's, erm... you know... not the, erm.... right environment for my children. That's why I would like to set a school up myself, which I promise to put my heart and soul into... until my children go off to university, after which I won't give a toss".
Minister: "Great. Approved!"
Senior civil servant: "And here is another one".
Submission 2
"I realy wont to set up a free School. I am fed up of goverments like NuLieBore and the EUSSR telling us what too do in this Great Country. We need a return of Christian Values, the cane and no Political Correctness and immigration. I am going to set up a school to teach this and also to help with making sure that Our Children learn proper subjects like Grammer and not islam and homosexuality".
Minster: "Fantastic. No more lefty wishy-washy feminazi, BBC-loving rubbish in that one. Approved!"
FIVE MONTHS LATER...
Minister: "Sir Humphrey, how are my Free Schools getting on? Please tell me it's not just that objectionable pillock Toby Young that's opening one?"
Disillusioned senior civil servant: "Um.... yeah, about that...."
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